Tuesday, October 11, 2011


God fucking damn. Phenomena, is the shit. It's a cheesey horror flick from director Dario Argento and the first starring role of Jennifer Connelly who I know mostly for giving me a boner when she rode the mechanical horse in Career Opportunities. (Enjoy your sympathy boner)Photobucket
Already this movie has a lot going for it. Add in the creepy crippled Scottish entomologist with the monkey nurse, Connelly's stereotypical oversexed French room-mate who smokes and the extremely bitchy girls of the school and you have a recipe for good times. I call these girls bitches in the most loving sense. They go far out of their way to make life hell for Connelly anytime they're on screen.
With all that going on for it I'm confident in saying the best thing about this movie is it's soundtrack. There are some metal songs which are pretty fucking awesome, and I say that as a guy who doesn't like metal, but the real attraction is the main theme. It's like what every song from Castlevania is trying to imitate, an excellent bit of synthpop by Goblin.

Seriously, that shit is off the hook. I'm pretty sure nobody except pedophiles trying to score young boys on the internet say off the hook anymore, but that's how awesome this track is. Think of that music while looking at this picture and it just makes sense.
The plot isn't what's going to draw you into this movie, but it's kind of slasher flick so nobody was expecting it to. No, what's going to keep you interested are the characters and the fact that something is constantly happening. There is no slow or dull point in this movie, it throws stuff at you faster than it can be resolved, and by the end you'll be left with a lot more questions than answers. That is a very good thing. You will be questioning what the fuck just happened fairly often and that just shows how you've grown complacent with constant exposition and films that move at a snails pace. This movie is like a stripper vomiting an artistic masterpiece filled with unicorns enslaving all of man-kind and making them work in their magical rainbow factories. A thing of pure beauty. It's a perfect example of what a film in this genre should be. Also, one of the main characters is a fucking monkey. God damn, this movie is so insanely awesome.

No comments:

Post a Comment