Children of the Corn (2009)

There is nothing good about this re-make. I DVRed it thinking it was the original, I never thought anyone would have re-made it so I didn't think to check the year. The kids are painful to watch. It isn't their fault they can't act, they're kids. They need direction and editing, both things this movie lacks. The female lead was given the direction of "act like a bitch" and then ran with it, ran far far away from any other aspect of her character's personality. She gets about 2 minutes on screen being a sane, normal person and spends the rest of her time alive making everyone miserable. The male lead isn't awful, but then again he isn't really anything. It was cool watching him kill children, but his Vietnam flashbacks are heavy handed and feel out of place given the intensity with which they're depicted. There's also a weird scene where all the kids stand around and watch two teens mate on an altar. I say mate because they're ordered to do it by a little boy, it's stupid. This whole movie is stupid. I don't know. I watched this because it was there and I was lazy. It's not the shittiest cable movie I've seen, but it's close.